Ah, high performers. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. It must have been written in the stars that talent & drama are intertwined for eternity.

Ever find yourself in one of these pickles? This week, a request was made of a peer that they needed to play nice with someone on another team. Did they cause the rift? Nah, not exactly. But for the good of the mission, they were asked to tone down their criticism and clean up their act to suit our prideful teammate.

They were told to dance.

Ever seen the ’90s classic Jerry Maguire? Cuba Gooding Jr won best Supporting Actor for his performance in this one. I think about this scene often. Because whether it’s professional sports, Hollywood, or an open floor plan in the Bay Area a form of this conversation plays out all over the world every single day:

Manager: “Let’s bury the attitude a little bit and show them..”
High Performer: “Wait.. You’re telling me to dance!”
Manager: 😳”Help me help you!”

The key fundamental difference between this scene and real life is that Tom Cruise’s emotional outburst happens in the silence of our frustrated thoughts. Echoing around in there for no one to hear.

We report to our managers. They report to their manager. Eventually someone reports to the CEO. The CEO reports to the board. The board reports to…who knows. And it all rolls down the line.

They are tough conversations. In order to rise above these conflicts, de-personalize and re-contextualize around the objective at hand. Address the frustration with a new, larger challenge your high performer can use to grow.

Unfortunately we all have to dance sometimes. Without it blowing up in our face 😳